Socktron is approaching his first Christmas. At least, I think it's his first. Really, though, Socktron could be three thousand, or even three million years old and I would have no idea.
It's possible gourds originated around the time of the big bang. The truth is, scientists still don't know a whole lot about gourds.
For instance, how old do they get? Do they die?
Do they have feelings?
Do they practice monogamy? Do they prefer Bruce Lee or Chuck Norris? Do they worry about the amount of back hair the movie producers allowed Chuck Norris to have in The Way of the Dragon? What are their thoughts on Walker, Texas Ranger, good, bad, just so-so?
Sometimes it can be tough living with something that I know so little about. But Socktron is part of the family, and we don't judge, especially not around the holiday season. Socktron is still wearing his reindeer ears and is really getting into the spirit.
Now that the presents are almost all wrapped, and the tree is decked with beautiful lights and ornaments, Socktron is one happy gourd. He's developed quite the ear for the Pandora holiday hits stations, and sometimes I just leave it on during the day while we're at work.
I really hope Santa will bring Socktron some really awesome presents this year. I mean, Socktron barely does anything, so he's definitely not on the naughty list.
And plus, the joy Socktron brings to our house as a decorative turban gourd, a friend, a family member, is more joy than we can even fit into our tiny little apartment. It's a blinding amount of joy; it requires polarized Ray Bans just to glimpse its awesomeness.
And so I dedicate this Christmas to Santa Socktron, a timeless masterpiece, bringer of joy, wearer of reindeer ear headpieces, and the best darn decorative turban gourd a guy could ask for.
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