The Truth About What It's Really Like to Raise A Decorative Gourd

One of the biggest mistakes of my life was confirmed this weekend: At no point during the existence of our first-ever family, decorative turban gourd, who we named Socktron, did I even once, think to take a photograph and thereby document our time together.

I missed his first day in our tiny little apartment, the Thanksgiving holidays, and worst of all, his time spent as Santa Socktron during the Christmas season. And I didn’t take one photograph. Not a one.

Does that make me a bad person?
How could I have done such a thing?

From the day we took him home from the Shaws supermarket Socktron was part of our family. I take tons of photographs. I Instagram like a fool. But I forget about Socktron.

Perhaps even worse than not photographing our time together is that Socktron perished. As much as our love held strong for him, we were eventually forced to say goodbye and give him a proper burial in the parking lot dumpster.

After four incredible months together, our seemingly immortal decorative turban gourd succumbed to mother nature and left this world forever.

Not once during his lifetime did I ever think our gourd would age. Socktron seemed destined to live forever.

He didn’t need food or water—only love. And so our dreams of using him for the Martin Luther King Jr., Valentine's Day, and July 4th holiday seasons were crushed.

But at least we tried. And unlike most decorative gourd owners we did not preemptively toss our gourd to the compost pile just because a little snow started falling and Thanksgiving had passed. We saw his potential and we unleashed it. Why should gourds only be thought of as decorations during the fall holidays?


So this weekend, as we cursed our way through the college-kid filled aisles of the Shaw’s supermarket, one full year since we bought Socktron, we came across the decorative gourd section.

Which, somewhat disturbingly, was in the middle of the meat department. I knew this day would come. And Amanda and I knew at that moment without even speaking words what was going to happen next.

The Second Coming of Socktron.

We took our time with the selection. There was an entire gigantic box filled with decorative gourds just waiting to find their new owners. I had my eye on one but wanted to see which one Amanda would select. I’m not sure if our minds are just so in tune or if there was some sort of spiritual/psychological connection, but we chose the same gourd.

And so, learning from my past mistakes, here is our new decorative turban gourd, Socktron II. We loved you, Socktron I, and we will always remember the joy you brought to our tiny little apartment, we will celebrate your existence here on out with each and every decorative turban gourd that sits on our windowsills.

As our new family tradition continues, I just want to say: Welcome to the family, Socktron II. Let the holiday seasons begin.



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