Did You Know There’s Absolutely Nothing Worse Than Emptying Silverware From the Dishwasher?

It’s true. Major studies have been conducted all over the globe, and so far nine out of ten people agree there is absolutely nothing worse in the entire world than emptying silverware from the dishwasher.

Innocent victims, deemed lucky by some for even owning a dishwasher, are suffering unimaginable levels of psychological stress. One main cause for concern is the forks. Frankly, these pieces of ware are unpredictable, erratic even.

Forks don’t play by the rules, never have, and the number of people accidentally pricking their fingers while trying to put them away is astronomically high.

The Problem is Worse Than We Think

It gets worse. What are we seriously supposed to do during the time it takes to put the silverware away? To some, it can feel like years. It’s soooooo boring. Just the mere thought of it has driven people to leave their dishes in the dishwasher for months.

Consider this. When you put silverware away:

  1. You can barely play with your phone.
  2. You can’t watch television correctly.
  3. And there are no free hands to use for grabbing snacks.

No snacks? That means you can literally starve. Which is why the World Health Organization recommends that you never, ever, put the silverware away before letting someone know where you are, and what you’re doing. Safety first. Use the buddy system.

This is what happens when you fall asleep on the job.

This is what happens when you fall asleep on the job.

Clearly, it comes as no surprise that there is nothing, absolutely not even one single thing, more mundane than taking out each and every piece of silverware from the dishwasher and placing those wares into a tray in a drawer. It’s the worst.

Everyone is Doomed, There is No Help

The best and brightest in this world have failed us completely. There are no solutions, other than throwing your silverware out after each meal of course. Which is fine, and probably the best strategy we have so far.

But is it sustainable?

Experts think not. If you multiply the amount of silver left in the world times the amount of people using silverware, then it appears that supplies would only last another 1.6 years. In other words, we’re all screwed.

Aside from the obvious things that also suck, like poverty, hunger, gender and racial inequality, war, politics, mustache hate, complex algorithms, and goose poop, etc., etc., etc., this is a very serious issue.

How Do We Fix This?

It’s too bad really. We can’t fix this until people, including the government, start taking the issue seriously. There’s a lot of work to be done, money to be raised, documentaries to be filmed.

Change won’t happen overnight. It never does. It takes guts. It takes time. It takes patience. But it will come. Change is inevitable.

So here’s to the future. Here’s to a world where people don’t have to do stupid things they don’t want to. Here’s to a world where we never, ever, have to put silverware back where it belongs.

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