After seven wonderful years of parking our butts in this tiny little apartment, crammed away in this cozy garden level abode, stuffing our brains with a lifetime of warm and fuzzy memories, it is time to say goodbye. And we will miss this place, this apartment, this home we’ve had for those seven wonderful years. It has treated us well and provided us with a sneaky little headquarters, tucked closely into a main artery of the city, with big windows, an old blue carpet, and a suspiciously rusty bathtub—all at garden level prices.
Read MoreA Detailed Guide: How to Be A Terrible, Horrible, Noisy Upstairs Neighbor
First thing upon waking, you want to start opening and closing drawers with a wild fervor, ensure a good slam before moving on to the next drawer. Have no concern for the integrity of the furniture, it can always be replaced and any structural damage can always be fixed. If you have enough energy, and hopefully you've been exercising regularly, try to stomp your feet up and down while slamming the drawers. This creates a subtle, but complex layering of loud noises that will thoroughly confuse and startle your downstairs neighbor. Obviously the earlier you start all this the better.
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