I’m happy to report that here in New England, summer is finally on its way.
Don’t believe it?
Just turn the dial of your telly over to the local news station and you’ll see what I’m talking about.
Read MoreI’m happy to report that here in New England, summer is finally on its way.
Don’t believe it?
Just turn the dial of your telly over to the local news station and you’ll see what I’m talking about.
Read MoreLook! Up ahead! Three aloof pedestrians stand around a smartphone in the middle of the sidewalk.
But why? Why did they choose to stand right there?
Don’t they know the space they selected for their powwow is typically used one-hundred percent of the time for walking? Even a fool knows not to do that. Right?
Read MoreHey! Nothing to see here. But I did want to post a link to my latest published article which can be found on Thought Catalog right now. What are you waiting for? Go read it! You're running out of time. Just CLICK ON THE TITLE!
I always thought there would be way more giant robots, you know? With laser beams shooting out of their giant robot eyes and destroying everything in their path with unrelenting precision and sheer brute force.
Then there would be the little green aliens controlling them—those little bastards—terrorizing us (emotionally) with weird noises and slimy goo. They would be not only unstoppable, but most definitely, and without any doubt, totally obsessed with annihilating us.
Read MoreThe very first thing I did today upon awakening once again into this beautiful world was to make a wish, from the bottomless and deepest depths of my heart, that our bathroom toilet would begin yet another flabbergasting flooding disaster. When it comes to bathroom flooding, this is not my first rodeo. More like the seventh.
Let me preface everything by saying that I lost my mind during a sequence of several major snowstorms, which are still arriving, quite comically, one after the next.
And so the story begins with me — an urban street parking New Englander. The big storm hits and news teams are giddy. Grocery stores are overrun. Milk sales are up. There are, miraculously, still people rushing to buy snow shovels.
One moment all is right in the world. I'm driving down the highway like any other day, finished with work, focused on the road ahead like a thousand times before. Responsibilities and troubles are on hold as I listen to the tunes on the radio.
And then, there it is. A disturbance. A noise. A noisy disturbance. Birthed from a whole slew of events and car part transactions with the road that I never knew a thing about.
As a 32-year-old man, I’ve come to learn that finding good pants never gets any easier. It is by nature a process designed to produce incredible moments of frustration. I know now that it’s not simply about finding a great pair of pants, but rather, the process, or journey, in which those pants are ultimately found and enjoyed. It is a quest.